Coffee Please

So, I am begging for my cup of coffee this morning...not the usual 'I'll get to it when I get to it' attitude of most mornings. Atticus has been waking at about 5am for his pacifier. While I'm still grateful that he's not waking for night feedings, I was really liking the sleeping through the night, that I've been missing the past two weeks or so.

I'm trying to be the 'good mom' and put my foot down, but, honestly, I sometimes would rather give him that pacifier and get another two hours of sleep than lay there and listen to him 'cry it out'. So, it's my own fault that this has become a habit...I should have missed those two hours of sleep that first night to let him know mamma wasn't havin' it...instead I've missed...what? like 20 hours of sleep? That's exhausting just thinking about all of those hours missed...



so, this morning, I awake with the sun (no, before the sun!) and gulp down my coffee like it's a glass of water... and on to cup #2!

Kindergarten!!

I can barely believe that Ava's off to her first day of Kindergarten!
As she jumped out of the car in her knee high argyle socks, plaid skirt and 'Girls rock' t-shirt, I couldn't contain myself from squeezing her!

She's grown up so much in her short little five years of life... and yet, she never ceases to remind me of how she's still my 'Teeny-Tiny'...She came into the house last weekend toting the 'blankie' that I bought for her the day she was born...when I asked her where it came from she said "you bought it for me when I was just a baby"...*smile*

I adore this little girl, all of her sass, her charisma, and her love...

Happy first day of Kindergarten, baby girl...
Ju-ju can't wait to hear all about it!!!

The Gift of Adoption

today adoption is on my mind...

We have two separate friend-couples that are either meeting their new children or bringing them home today. It literally makes me feel warm inside...life hot coffee going down! I'm in love with adoption. I know that may sound funny, but it's true.

I've been thinking about Jasmine a lot the past few days (some know her story, some don't...), wondering if she's enjoying her new life, and soaking up all of the new love she's being given. Last I heard there were some problems in their new family and I'm just praying that she adjusts and grows into a beautiful young woman, confident in God's love. I miss her and I wish I could hug her and love on her...but I really do rest in knowing that Jesus loves her more than I do and that he's protecting her.

Beautiful little girl, have a great day today!

Sweetest Sound

My baby laughed for the first time yesterday! it was the sweetest sound I've ever heard... I just adore him & I'm amazed at how much joy he brings to me. I had a moment while he was laughing last night where life just stood still. I took a step away from 'me' and saw my husband and I sitting on the couch enjoying ourselves more than we had in a while... all because our son was laughing! What a miracle that God could make something so tiny have such an enormous impact on our lives!

Glorified Body

I woke this morning with a migraine...

to some this may foreign, but this is how I start, maintain, or end my day quite often. I have had these little 'thorns' for years...(literally I had my first migraine when I was 7 or so). They were 'well managed' for several years before I became pregnant. Let me preface that having our little boy is SO worth enduring migraines...but still not pleasant. I am taking more drugs than I ever thought I would...all with aggravating side-effects.

So, Lord, thanks for including the tidbit about the glorified bodies...it's a nice incentive...not that meeting YOU isn't enough!
just a request...I'd like to be a size 6 jeans, size 8 shoe, and not have migraines! Thanks!

night thoughts...

As I'm writing this post my heart is breaking for an old friend and his wife who recently lost their six-week-old baby girl. I cry several times a week thinking of them.

I feel so helpless to protect this little person that I would literally die for. So each time I put him to bed, I pray 'Jesus take care of my baby'... last night I realized that Jesus is holding their precious baby girl, Lydie, and I pleaded that He would abide by MY interpretation of 'taking care' meaning leaving him with me...not taking him until I was gone... these are things I never thought would weigh so heavily on me...but they do.

I'm amazed at the lack of control we have on our own lives...it seems the older I get, the more aware I am of this...

Missing Daddy-time

SO Atticus and I have been very spoiled having Adam here with us while he was searching for a job... now that he's working, we miss his a lot..some days are especially lonely. Yesterday, we wanted 'Daddy' to know how much we missed him and loved him... Atticus posed for an e-mail photo-op.

Mamma life

It's so crazy that I'm a Mamma!!

I can't believe how much I love Atticus...with places I didn't know existed in me. It's hard to imagine the deep love of a mother for her child.. people told me about it, but it's not something you can imagine. Before him, I compared it to the love I had for my niece or nephew, or even my beloved dog, but it's this miracle like none I've experienced. The thought that someone who wakes you at 4am can make you smile in your miserable longing for sleep... that's deep.

He's crying right now, and I'm pretending that I don't hear him. We're working on 'self-soothing'...I'm not very good at this. I think that I may be an 'enabler' when he's a bit older..I will have to work on that!