THANKS-Giving

Is it really Novemeber? Is it really Thanksgiving? crazy.

This year is a year of 'firsts' for us at the Towell home... although it's not our first Thanksgiving together, it's the first year that we will be having Thanksgiving dinner at our house. There will be ten of us, yes ten! Now, for some seasoned cooks that's a manageable number, for the turkey cooking virgin, it's quite a feat! Thankfully, I will have a forgiving audience...

My sister and my babies will be here tonight and I get to spend the day tomorrow with them...I've even got them aprons so we can all be in the kitchen together..so fun! Then Wednesday night Kay and Allen (Adam's parents) will drive in and following them is Adam's brother, Aaron and our nephew, Christian. Then later that night, my mom is flying in to OKC then driving to Clinton. I'm just so excited I can hardly stand it.

In that excitement, I've gotten a little 'crazy'. When I'm away from it all, I realize my obsession with wanting to impress people, even my family. In my mind I justify it by thinking that they're only here once a year or so, so I want it to be perfect for them...but really I want them to think "man, Adam and Julia are really doing well...they've got it all together.." Just last night, (as I was making beads throughout the house...which I do ONLY when we have guests) I imagined conversations going on behind my back or thoughts on my in-law's heads thinking "Adam really did well to marry Julia"...with them looking at my perfectly made beds, of course. Go ahead, say it, that's insane! Who do I think these people are that they would put so much value on my house or the bed-making skills I have. And really, what does that say about me? I place so much value on these meaningless things...

I would really like to focus on THANKS-giving...I'm going to work on that, and try not to be miserable focusing on the 'important things....you know, trying to make all of the place settings imaculate...