THANKS-Giving

Is it really Novemeber? Is it really Thanksgiving? crazy.

This year is a year of 'firsts' for us at the Towell home... although it's not our first Thanksgiving together, it's the first year that we will be having Thanksgiving dinner at our house. There will be ten of us, yes ten! Now, for some seasoned cooks that's a manageable number, for the turkey cooking virgin, it's quite a feat! Thankfully, I will have a forgiving audience...

My sister and my babies will be here tonight and I get to spend the day tomorrow with them...I've even got them aprons so we can all be in the kitchen together..so fun! Then Wednesday night Kay and Allen (Adam's parents) will drive in and following them is Adam's brother, Aaron and our nephew, Christian. Then later that night, my mom is flying in to OKC then driving to Clinton. I'm just so excited I can hardly stand it.

In that excitement, I've gotten a little 'crazy'. When I'm away from it all, I realize my obsession with wanting to impress people, even my family. In my mind I justify it by thinking that they're only here once a year or so, so I want it to be perfect for them...but really I want them to think "man, Adam and Julia are really doing well...they've got it all together.." Just last night, (as I was making beads throughout the house...which I do ONLY when we have guests) I imagined conversations going on behind my back or thoughts on my in-law's heads thinking "Adam really did well to marry Julia"...with them looking at my perfectly made beds, of course. Go ahead, say it, that's insane! Who do I think these people are that they would put so much value on my house or the bed-making skills I have. And really, what does that say about me? I place so much value on these meaningless things...

I would really like to focus on THANKS-giving...I'm going to work on that, and try not to be miserable focusing on the 'important things....you know, trying to make all of the place settings imaculate...

A day in the life...

Man...how strange life has been!

So, some know, some don't... we're moving to Clinton, OK.
Adam has been asked to pastor a church there and we will be moving from Norman in two weeks!
We are SO excited about this move and Adam and I feel like God totally hand-picked Clinton for us.

The people at this church are amazing! Totally open to doing what God wants to do through the church, even if it's new. We have so many idea's, and so do they. It's so encouraging!! We're in no hurry, we feel that God will give us years to succeed in our idea's and also fail and move on to the next.

We've also bought a house there! A real true 'fixer-upper' that, at times, I'm a little terrified to live in. I'm, then, reminded that my mom washed dishes in the bathtub for a summer while the same situation was occurring in 'the log cabin' and that Michele hasn't had indoor plumbing for months in NZ...so, I know I can embrace this adventure. I just need to remember that it is just that, an adventure!

As 'tright' as it may sound, I really feel very undeserving of this 'gift' of Clinton. I am reminded of God's grace that he would let me (and Adam) be a part of this...despite my unfaithfulness to Him on so many occasions. My God truly is a forgiving God.

So, if you're ever out towards Clinton, give us a call...or just drop by, Mayberry, I mean Clinton, is just that kind of place.

ps. we haven't sold our home in Norman, so please send a prayer up if it crosses your mind.

Travel Bug

So I'm looking at my 'travel' pictures...and I'm catching the 'travel bug'!

I'm craving the smell of foreign air.

I need the feel of dirt roads under my feet.

I long to drift away overhearing conversations in languages unknown to me.

We are going to new England next week, and I suppose I will pretend that I am in Italy or Vienna, or some place grand, to scratch my itch....

Yet another day to ...

Today.
Yet another day to fail.
Yet another day to focus on my reality.
..or is it another day, another chance, to DO something.

I am constantly, yet infrequently, inspired by this God that rules all things.
I am amazed by the beauty of the sun shining, and the relief of the clouds and wind.
I am amazed that I daily disregard others, yet I am shown consideration.
But I am most amazed that this God, THE God, loves me.

I am amazed, today, that he not only died for me, but he was mocked and spit upon, betrayed, and, well, I could go on and on...and he did it for me.

I wish I could say that I live in this amazement, but the sad truth is, that I rarely live in it.

Most days I wrap myself in a blanket woven of all of MY thoughts and troubles, like traffic, or the puppy messing up our carpet, or that our yard doesn't look as nice as the others on our street.. really, those are the things I worry about. Honestly, when on paper, these things look so rediculous. What about hunger, poverty, war, disease...what about all of these things? If it were okay to wrap yourself in troubles, these would be the 'acceptable' on the list. I'm afraid my list of troubles would be denied for consideration.

But the truth is, I don't want to wrap myself in any of these things. I want to wrap myself in this amazing grace. I want to live in it. To live in God's grace and Christs' sacrifice of life...in those rare moments I live there, I feel peace. I feel sunlight on my face, I feel this urge to fly. I feel an overwhelming sense of emotion and a desire to share it with every being I come in contact with.

Can you imagine what this world would be like if those of us who have accepted this so undeserved gift, really acted as if we didn't deserve it?! Can you imagine how much people would want this gift if we showed them what it was like to posess it?

So...let's LIVE in it!
Really, let's try.
It would be such an amazing experience!
We can show the world how much Jesus loves them by realizing it ourselves!!

to church or not to church

Ok, so this posting may be a bit offensive to some, but...well....

A question I have been asking myself a lot is..how much of my life is supposed to be 'about' Church?I'm not trying to belittle the church or it's huge benefit in our lives. Nor am I trying to ignore the huge part of the Bible dedicated to the church and it's function....I'm just trying to find a balance in my life of church and not church.

Let me first say that I LOVE CHURCH. I was raised in 'the church' and I find comfort as well as the majority of my friendships and support there. However, I'm not sure that that's how it's supposed to be. I don't think that there 's error in finding our support there, but I'm starting to think that it's contrary to what Christ wanted from his followers to submerge themselves in the church's culture.

I've thought a lot over the past year or so that many of the things I find 'normal' about church, could easily be viewed as CRAZY by someone outside of the church culture.Ex: Puppets

I'm not sure when it was that I realized that I was drowning in church 'muck' and that I had ceased to long to reach people for Christ...let me emphasize for Christ...not for the church.

I just want to get back there...that's all. And I don't want to hurt anyone in the process...and I think that denying something that you have been so 'involved' in can be hurtful to some people 'left behind', but I think maybe that's what Christ was talking about it saying that we 'should' deny our Fathers and Mothers for him...
That when the situation presents itself, we have to follow Christ and just pray that we don't have to deny anyone in the process.

Judgement

So.. I was at dinner last night with a friend and we began talking about how we view other people. I have to admit that I often say to my self (or others around me) "she could be really pretty if..."or "he would be really cute if..."

And, thinking about that a little deeper than I usually would, I can't help but think how horrible it is to think and say those things. Honestly, since when do I get to judge what makes others 'better' or 'more acceptable'? And since when is it ok or even an attractive quality to judge people on how they look?

I can easily justify and make myself feel better by saying that I never 'dislike' someone because of their outward appearance, but who am I to judge it on any level?

And even if outward appearance did create some value level, who am I to say who 'scores' where in this system? We are all created beautiful to God...and just because some stupid magazine, or whatever it is that gives us this 'beautiful' image in our minds, says that 'this' is beautiful and 'that' is not, doesn't mean it's true.

I'm ashamed to say that I've fallen to that lie on many occasions...but I realize that I do.

So, today...know that you are beautiful. Truly Beautiful.