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an old friend reminded me that I had a blog today (which I often forget)... so I thought I'd write about my current 'life process'...
1. we DID get the house
2. I forgot how much time unpacking/settling-in takes
3. I thought I'd be so much better at being a wife/mom/time manager once we had a house, turns out I was wrong...
I'm going to write a little about #3...and then some.
The past several years have been very destructive to who I thought I was. Experiences in these years have stripped me down to the core, making me come back to square one to figure out what the life of Julia is meant to be. I try, daily, to ignore this process. It overwhelms me more than I could imagine. The things that I so heavily relied on are gone, (my security in who I am in Christ, my trust in people, my willingness to put myself 'out there'...) and I'm not sure how to do 'life' without them.
I know, primarily, I need to come back to my security in Jesus. I know this with my head but struggle to wrap my heart around it. I have a hard time knowing where to begin. I feel such a dichotomy in my being...on one hand I am utterly in love with Jesus, and I weep at times thinking about His love and the actions of His love for me and humanity. On the other hand, I feel like Jesus is a stranger to me, far from my reality of life.
I have no solutions, and no specific plans for solutions...I just thought I'd share what's going on in my head these days...I'm open to your thoughts:)
Oh, and I am supposed to be a housewife, but I can't get the freaking laundry done!!!
I'll write about this another time:)
